Look, I’m well aware of the possibility that I’m the one who needs to get punched in the face if I’m looking for a real game-changer career move on Craig’s List but I have to say, these fucking jag-offs who post jobs should get punched first.
Let me just drop a few Craig’s List headlines…and to make the picture a bit clearer I’ll include some of the job requirement highlights I find funny and insulting.
“CREATIVE INTERN NEEDED” (as opposed to…?) The title made me laugh. This is an internship, which means everything involves kissing ass and you don’t get paid.
“Entry Level Marketing Assistant” NYC Marketing Company is seeking a recent college grad who is interested in customer service and data entry. (who the F is interested in data entry? Data Entry, Oh yeah, it’s my hobby–I love it) This is an entry level position with growth. Candidate must be amazing with details and have great communication skills along with excellent computer skills. Candidate must also be a quick learner. This position has a starting salary of $25,000. Please send your resume and cover letter to the above email address. We will only be responding to those who have the above mentioned skills and can meet the salary requirement. (The real kicker is not the insulting salary that doesn’t even scrape together a living wage in this city it is the fact that they want this below the poverty line individual to be AMAZING…with details? what does that mean?)
I’m always blown away by the list of requirements for low paying jobs. 10 years of experience, highly motivated (if I was highly motivated, would I be resorting to Craig’s List?), fluent in English, Spanish, French, Chinese and Arabic (Does the U.N. post on Craig’s List?) and takes direction with grace and should be extremely sharp, bright, polished and poised.
I’m tired so I’ll end with the best one:
“General Job Offer” We offer General Job Forward your Resume To firstname.lastname@example.org