Where’s the Bar Car?

I usually hate New York on the weekends. Wait, that’s not fair. I hate very specific neighborhoods on the weekends: SoHo, the Village (East, West and Greenwich), all of Madison, Park and Fifth Avenues and Union Square…I also hate (and this is not limited to the weekends) every single tourist near “ground zero” or looking for “ground zero” or talking about “ground zero” and groups–big groups really chap my ass along with ALL of the train lines (especially the perpetually under construction R line).

This raging, multidirectional vexation I have with the human race and inanimate objects is an essential native New York quality. This general malaise us New Yorkers carry around on our backs to and from our cramped apartments is, and I think anyone who has had to deal with signs like the one below will agree, warranted.

Conductor, I need a drink.

No trains at this station...EVER?!?

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