If you want to hate America…read this craigslist ad

AD TEXT: Roman Candle Casting is seeking people to portray hipsters on the HBO show “How To Make It In America” starring Brian Greenberg, Victor Rasuk, Lake Bell, and Kid Cudi. So have you ever been called a hipster? Deny being one but own various wardrobe and sport a hairstyle that is considered non-mainstream.? Got any cool tattoos? Have a awesome beard or ironic mustache.? Have some cool vintage dresses? Did you make it to the LCD Soundsystem farewell show or desperately wanted to? If any of these things pertain to you, you’re probably just right for the show. Basically we are looking for some cool interesting types to feature on the episode. Looking for model types too.
When submitting please include some candid pictures along with the best phone # to reach you. Also include your availability next week. We are shooting 5/3, 5/4, 5/5, and 5/8. All scenes are specific so if we think you are right for the project we would place you accordingly. We will be shooting in Bushwick and the Lower East Side of Manhattan. If these dates don’t work for you there will be other opportunities throughout the season so feel free to submit.

All I have to say is, What the F? I mean really. Here I am spending a perfectly fine Saturday morning lamenting the sorry state of my finances and trolling Craigslist for a job–not an unpaid internship but an actual real job with a respectable salary and something that doesn’t involve feeling like shit or make me want to commit random acts of arson…and what do I find? An ad looking for hipsters for the HBO show How to Make it in America… I think it is official: I hate everyone. Everyone is stupid and annoying and profoundly fucking fucked up. “Do you have a beard or an ironic mustache?” WHAT? Are you a complete jerk-off who wears a costume every day? I can’t even begin to express what being in the throes of a mental breakdown is like but if you’re a normal human being reading the details of this ad will give you an idea.

When I first saw this show I though, ok, maybe this will be good…but it’s just an East Coast Entourage. WHY? WHY IS THIS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN? WHY ARE THERE STUPID DOUCHE BAG TV SHOWS LIKE THIS?

I’ll tell you how to make it in America, come from an ultra wealthy family and walk through a bunch of open doors.

I think I need a nap.

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