Tag Archives: craigs list

If you want to hate America…read this craigslist ad

AD TEXT: Roman Candle Casting is seeking people to portray hipsters on the HBO show “How To Make It In America” starring Brian Greenberg, Victor Rasuk, Lake Bell, and Kid Cudi. So have you ever been called a hipster? Deny being one but own various wardrobe and sport a hairstyle that is considered non-mainstream.? Got any cool tattoos? Have a awesome beard or ironic mustache.? Have some cool vintage dresses? Did you make it to the LCD Soundsystem farewell show or desperately wanted to? If any of these things pertain to you, you’re probably just right for the show. Basically we are looking for some cool interesting types to feature on the episode. Looking for model types too.
When submitting please include some candid pictures along with the best phone # to reach you. Also include your availability next week. We are shooting 5/3, 5/4, 5/5, and 5/8. All scenes are specific so if we think you are right for the project we would place you accordingly. We will be shooting in Bushwick and the Lower East Side of Manhattan. If these dates don’t work for you there will be other opportunities throughout the season so feel free to submit.

All I have to say is, What the F? I mean really. Here I am spending a perfectly fine Saturday morning lamenting the sorry state of my finances and trolling Craigslist for a job–not an unpaid internship but an actual real job with a respectable salary and something that doesn’t involve feeling like shit or make me want to commit random acts of arson…and what do I find? An ad looking for hipsters for the HBO show How to Make it in America… I think it is official: I hate everyone. Everyone is stupid and annoying and profoundly fucking fucked up. “Do you have a beard or an ironic mustache?” WHAT? Are you a complete jerk-off who wears a costume every day? I can’t even begin to express what being in the throes of a mental breakdown is like but if you’re a normal human being reading the details of this ad will give you an idea.

When I first saw this show I though, ok, maybe this will be good…but it’s just an East Coast Entourage. WHY? WHY IS THIS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN? WHY ARE THERE STUPID DOUCHE BAG TV SHOWS LIKE THIS?

I’ll tell you how to make it in America, come from an ultra wealthy family and walk through a bunch of open doors.

I think I need a nap.

Who Wants a Punch in the Face Today?


Look, I’m well aware of the possibility that I’m the one who needs to get punched in the face if I’m looking for a real game-changer career move on Craig’s List but I have to say, these fucking jag-offs who post jobs should get punched first.

Let me just drop a few Craig’s List headlines…and to make the picture a bit clearer I’ll include some of the job requirement highlights I find funny and insulting.

“CREATIVE INTERN NEEDED” (as opposed to…?) The title made me laugh. This is an internship, which means everything involves kissing ass and you don’t get paid.

“Entry Level Marketing Assistant” NYC Marketing Company is seeking a recent college grad who is interested in customer service and data entry. (who the F is interested in data entry? Data Entry, Oh yeah, it’s my hobby–I love it) This is an entry level position with growth. Candidate must be amazing with details and have great communication skills along with excellent computer skills. Candidate must also be a quick learner. This position has a starting salary of $25,000. Please send your resume and cover letter to the above email address. We will only be responding to those who have the above mentioned skills and can meet the salary requirement. (The real kicker is not the insulting salary that doesn’t even scrape together a living wage in this city it is the fact that they want this below the poverty line individual to be AMAZINGwith details? what does that mean?)

I’m always blown away by the list of requirements for low paying jobs. 10 years of experience, highly motivated (if I was highly motivated, would I be resorting to Craig’s List?), fluent in English, Spanish, French, Chinese and Arabic (Does the U.N. post on Craig’s List?) and takes direction with grace and should be extremely sharp, bright, polished and poised.

I’m tired so I’ll end with the best one:

“General Job Offer” We offer General Job Forward your Resume To karlmeyer3@aol.com